Week 13 Thursday: It’s Hip to be Square!

DALLAS (5-6)  - 1.5  vs  Washington (5-6)

Kirk Cousins is a huge dork. We respect greatly him for this. The guy lives and breathes football. He stays in his parents’ basement in the offseason and drives his grandmother’s 15-year old van. Normally you would instinctively look around to make sure your kids are safe when you hear “29 year old man living in his parents’ basement and driving a van”, but Cousins is married and appears well-adjusted. They stay in his wife’s parents’ basement during the winter. She had him at "I got a finished basement for you." (Note to our readers: get your minds out of the gutter.)

He also asked for, and received, an office in the Redskins practice facility so he could study plays and work the whiteboard.  Side note: the ‘Skins gave him a windowless 6x8 room filled with file cabinets. The Giants must have taken lessons in How to Treat Your Franchise QB from them.

He’s on pace for 4,000 yards for the 3rd straight year, every year since he got the full-time starting role. This year, with a less than stellar receiving group, he’s averaging over 8 yards per attempt, has 19 TDs, and a passer rating of 101. You like that?!?

This is what Cousins will be saying to Redskins fans when they McAdoo him in 2026. (Also, what the F is in that plastic bag?)

This is what Cousins will be saying to Redskins fans when they McAdoo him in 2026. (Also, what the F is in that plastic bag?)

These two teams are evenly matched statistically on the season, but moving quickly in opposite directions. Dallas has been outscored 94-22 in the last 3 weeks and Dak Prescott is in a serious sophomore slump. We called him a system QB earlier in the year, and now the whole damn system is out of order. Washington is 1-2 in the last 3 weeks, but has scored 82 points and had close losses to the Vikings and the Saints.

This game opened at Dallas -1.5 but is moving fast. It was Washington -1.5 when I started writing this, and it’s already -2. Expect it to close Washington -3. Give all the points. Redskins had a brutal early season schedule but have 4 of last 5 against losing teams (in order of suckitude: Arizona, Dallas, Denver, Giants). A potential 4-1 finish has them a game away from our projected playoff cut, but they can smell it. Jordan Reed smelled it and went directly back to the IR (nose).

Our Top Chef "Don't Try to Catch a Falling Knife" Pick of the Week: Redskins +1.5