Week 7 (Part 2): Battle for NFC East Supremacy!


Two posts this week. One of us had some work stuff and didn't get his shit together until Saturday. (OK, it’s me.)

We squeaked out another .500+ week last week. See the Results page for more. Remember, use these at your own risk. Hopefully, there’s a few laughs in here and at least one really good insight. (Ed. note: Look at the Niners writeup.)


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INDIANAPOLIS (1-5)  -7.5  vs  Buffalo (2-4)
RIP Allen|Peterman, high end South Beach mens salon where they accidentally slit your throat every third visit (see our week 2 notes!). Derek Andersen is taking over the Bills offense. With less than two weeks to prepare, they’ll keep it simple and it should be enough to at least cover. We like the Bills +260 on the moneyline and under 43.

Bills +7.5
3 Fireball shots!


JACKSONVILLE (3-3)  -4.5  vs  Houston (3-3)

Jacksonville got embarrassed by Dallas last week, which still makes no sense. But Houston went from being the best 0-3 team in the league to the worst 3-3 team. Victories over the Bills, Cowboys, and Colts by a combined 13 points isn't a 3-game winning streak to be proud of. The defense is coming into focus but oh man, the offense and play calling isn't.  The Texans lost to the freaking Giants. 

Jaguars -4.5
2 Fireball shots


BALTIMORE (4-2)  -2.5  vs  New Orleans (4-1)

The Ravens have been away from home for 3 weeks. They went 2-1 on the road trip, with an inexplicable loss to Cleveland the only bad mark. Seriously, how does Cleveland drag teams into games that sap the viewers’ will? It’s like the mid 90s in hockey when the Devils went to the neutral zone trap and set an entire sport back 30 years.

Anyhoo, the Browns thankfully are not playing in this game. (One of us actually thinks they’re good. I am not that one of us.) These two teams are good. But it comes down to this: if the Ravens can put up points their defense will keep Brees out of the end zone more than enough times to win. Ravens defense is giving up 12 points per game. Saints are giving up 28. 

Ravens -2.5
3 Fireball shots!


WASHINGTON (3-2)  -1.5  vs  Dallas (3-3)

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Redskins -1.5
1 Fireball shot


LA Rams (6-0)  -10.5  vs  SAN FRANCISCO (1-5)
* Me Undies Backdoor Cover of the Week *

This is the Rams 3rd game in a row as more than a TD favorite on the road. They won the first two by a combined 5 points and didn't cover either. From 2011-2015 (only data I could find already analyzed), only 10/125 teams with 3 game road trips went 3-0. 

Niners are 1-5, and had their souls ripped out when Jimmy Jesus took a knee until 2019, but their losses are to: Vikings (by 8), Chiefs (11), Chargers (2), Arizona (10. WTF.), Green Bay (3). 4 of the best teams in the league, plus Arizona.

Oh, if we haven't convinced you to use this month’s mortgage payment to take the points ….. next week the Rams host the Packers. You think they may be looking a little further down the road than the Niners game this week???

Niners +10.5
3 Fireball shots!


KANSAS CITY (5-1)  -5.5  vs  Cincinnati (4-2)
* History Lesson Pick of the Week *

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This game got flexed to Sunday night. You know why? Because every time Tyreke Hill touches the ball there’s a chance he reaches 1.21 jigawatts and transforms into pure energy. He’s the most electric player since Renaldo “Skeets” Nehemiah ran past people for the Niners for a few years in the early 80s.

Nehemiah was the first person to run the 110m hurdles in under 13 seconds. The Niners game plan was to have him run deep every play, draw the double coverage so the defense didn't get embarrassed, and then complete short passes underneath all day long. The West Coast offense became a thing because Nehemiah scared the shit out of defensive coordinators. He went back to track and field in 1986 when the Niners drafted a guy named Jerry Rice, who was nearly as fast but you know, had played football before and could catch.

Tyreke Hill is better than the guy who enabled Bill Walsh to revolutionize NFL offenses. I wanted to pick Cincinnati so badly, but after that explanation ….

Chiefs -5.5
2 Fireball shots


ATLANTA (2-4)  -5.5  vs  NY Giants (1-5)
* Good News, You’re Free on Monday Night Pick of the Week *

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Q: This picture represents the emotions of:
a)      Giants fans, or
b)      Julio Jones in the red zone

A: Both. Duh.

Atlanta -5.5
1 Fireball shot (but really, zero)